


If I Should Fall From Grace With God

by shessocold



Series: I Told I'd Always Love You, I Always Did, I Always Will [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, First War with Voldemort, M/M, Marauders' Era, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, War is hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 03:18:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13068003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: Sirius comes home from his first real mission with the Order of the Phoenix.





	If I Should Fall From Grace With God

“Back already? I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.”

Sirius doesn't bother responding. He throws his broomstick to the floor and in three steps he's upon Remus, grabbing him by his wrists and pulling him none too gently to his feet. 

“Well, hello to you too,” says Remus, as Sirius slams him against the wall. “Everything OK?” 

Sirius presses his mouth against Remus', roughly even by their standards. With one hand he's pinning Remus' wrists up against the wall, with the other he's trying to unbotton his own jeans. He doesn't seem to notice Remus squirming under him. Remus can feel him shaking. 

“Sirius, get off me. You're hurting me – Sirius – GET OFF ME.” 

Sirius stands back, panting slightly. Remus massages his wrist, studying Sirius' face. 

“What's wrong with you?” he asks, and it's only then that he notices the blood soaking the sleeve of Sirius' t-shirt. “Are you hurt?” 

“It's nothing,” says Sirius, and Remus is very relieved to finally hear him speak. 

“Well, let me see.” 

Sirius shakes his head, baring his teeth into something that is more grin than grimace. 

“It's not my blood.” 

“Ah. Whose blood is it, then?” 

“Some Death Eater's,” says Sirius, and the light that shines in his eyes makes Remus feel queasy. _Bloodlust_ , he thinks, astonished. “We had a bit of a duel.” 

“Did you kill him?” asks Remus, bracing himself for the answer. 

Sirius shakes his head. 

“Didn't manage to. The fucker Disapparated on me.” 

Remus doesn't know what to say. He supposes he should congratulate Sirius on a successful mission – Sirius is alive and well, that's enough of a success in Remus' book – but he can't quite bring himself to do it convincingly. 

“He had almost killed James, Moony,” says Sirius, sensing Remus' discomfort. He takes Remus' hand, delicately enough that Remus dares glance at his face again. Sirius doesn't look vicious any longer, just very young and very tired. “I had no other choice.” 

Remus nods. 

“Is James OK?” 

“Yeah, he'll be fine. I brought him back to Headquartes, they're taking care of him.” 

Remus nods again. They are silent for a bit. 

“Please go change,” says Remus, eventually. “I can't stand seeing you like this.” 

** 

“I'm really sorry, Moony. I did not mean to upset you.” 

“Don't worry. I know,” says Remus, forcing himself to smile. Sirius doesn't buy it. 

“I shouldn't have come home like that,” he insists, joining Remus on the couch. He has bathed – his hair is still wet – and he's wearing fresh clothes. He hands Remus a glass of Firewhisky. “Bottoms up.” 

Remus empties the glass in one gulp. 

“Better?” inquires Sirius, lowering his own empty glass. Remus smiles, this time more convincingly. 

“Yeah. I'm sorry, I should not have made a scene. It's just that...” _That you were fucking scary_ , he thinks, but he can't bring himself to say it. “This is a real war, then, isn't it?” he says instead. 

Sirius nods, grimly. 

“I was so fucking scared,” he says, looking away from Remus. “I thought they were going to kill us both. And then suddenly it was over, and all I could think about was that I had to come back and see you immediately.” 

Remus feels like vomiting. 

“I love you so much,” he says, willing himself to keep a steady voice. “And you're so brave.” 

“Not like we had any other choice,” says Sirius, with a hollow laugh. “Some bravery, eh? Fight back or be murdered. Quite an easy decision to take.” 

_But you do have a choice_ , thinks Remus, looking at Sirius' aristocratic profile. _You could be safe and sound with the rest of them. It's not_ you _they're after, my love, is it?_

“Right,” he says instead, his heart swelling with affection. “But you're still brilliant. And I'm not saying that just because you're my boyfriend – although that _does_ help. Do you want me to fix you something to eat?” 

“No, thank you. I really couldn't eat,” says Sirius, grimacing. “Can we just go to bed?” 

“Of course,” says Remus, holding out his hand for Sirius to take. “Let's go.”

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4v6aNjGFFk


End file.
